i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
