They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
