we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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