I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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