i don't plan on having that self control this summer
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
