hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
