we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
