shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Is it because I queefed?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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