The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
