ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
