why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
