If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
