I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
