I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
