Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize