Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
