so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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