The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
