Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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