So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need to calm my uterus...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
