Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
