I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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