I seem to have left my pride at pride
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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