He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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