She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am available for nakedness
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
