woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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