why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
