So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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