Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
