Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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