Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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