Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
