Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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