OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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