I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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