I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
