I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think I am morally bankrupt
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
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The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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