I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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