Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
