In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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