Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
