Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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