You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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