Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize