Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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