Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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