Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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