At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My hand turned me down
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
