so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
