you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
