You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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