i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
