I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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