I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
