We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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