If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
