Sober January is a disaster.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
