i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
