Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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