I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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