No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
